so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
whose parrot is this?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
