I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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