At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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