Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Pooping to opera.
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