I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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