I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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