I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
