I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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