The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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