like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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