He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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