I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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