Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
