i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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