fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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