so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
