Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
