I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
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I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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