how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize