She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
