I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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