He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
