Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
