I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
