the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
