is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
