You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
