Barsexuality is the new black.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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