just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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