you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
