So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
