hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
