We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize