the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hippo gnu deer
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize