Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
