im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
