you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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