What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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