Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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