Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
