I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
thus making me awesome and them whores
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
