i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize