I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
