he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize