Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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