They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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