she was so not down for the gang bang
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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