I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
