Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My balls are so social today.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
