well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
