Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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