I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
