I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
