got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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