So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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