Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
