Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
