there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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