Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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