i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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