Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
