I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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