Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We need to get me chipped asap
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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