Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
