Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
